A Choice With No Regrets
by pinkish-red hearts
Summary: Day 4 of Hayffie Week: AU Every choice, no matter how well thought will have unseen consequences. Haymitch learns this over and over again. Set in the world of the anime, Attack on Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin.


**Author's Note: Here's my submission for the Hayffie AU week. I'm making an Attack on Titan AU. I've wanted to write an Attack on Titan AU for so long but I never had the inspiration. Hopefully, this turned out good. Those who are fans of Attack on Titan/ Shingeki No Kyojin, I hope that I did fine. Also, I assigned THG characters to be in the place of AoT characters so don't expect them to act like their AoT counterparts.**

 **Also fans, guess my OTP from the anime based on this fanfic XD I'll tell at the end of the fanfic. (But if you're a fan, it's pretty darn obvious who I'm talking about)**

 **I hope this doesn't get confusing and/or boring because there are a lot of narration and flashbacks.**

 _ **INFORMATION ABOUT THE AU SETTING TO HELP UNDERSTAND THE STORY**_ **:** _Shingeki No Kyojin/Attack on Titan is set on an AU past Germany where the world is being run by Titans which are monsters that over 3 meters and above that eat people only. So they built 3 Walls, Maria, Rose and Sina to keep them safe. For those who want to be soldiers, you can join 3 legions, the Military Police (reserved for the Top 10) who serve as the King's guards, the Garrisons, those who guard within the Walls and the Recon Corps, the Scouting Legion who find out more about Titans and find a way to combat them. These soldiers are equipped with thin-bladed swords to slice a Titan's nape, since it is its weak point and to aid them in getting up to the nape of a Titan, they use a 3D Maneuver Gear which propels hooks from these devices on both sides of your hip, attaches to a surface and launches you through the air like a slingshot with the help of gas. (I am very bad at explaining how it works so you can read about 3D Maneuver Gears here -_ _wiki/Three_Dimensional_Maneuver_Gear ) You can research if you want to know more about the setting because I'm not very good at explaining. XD_

Sweat soaked through Haymitch's undershirt and brown jacket, making him feel chilly as he zipped past the trees. His gray eyes being covered by his dark bangs did its best to scan his surroundings for any signs of Katniss and his squad.

Plutarch's plan of capturing the female Titan had failed. Nobody had anticipated the skills on what the 14-meter female form Titan could do. She had called out a high pitched cry and smaller Titans came running from all directions. The scouting legion had been alarmed at the rate of Titans coming in. They were even more surprised when the monsters ignored them and began to hungrily devour the female Titan. The Titan had begun to fog up their surroundings with the steam it emits when it gets destroyed. The steam had not only reduced their visibility but also made it difficult for flare signals to be seen.

Haymitch had cursed.

"I'm going to look for my team," he felt adamant to see his squad alright.

"No," Plutarch stated firmly. "Go refill your gas and blades,"

When it had seemed that Haymitch was about to protest, Plutarch stared intently at him, the usual casual smile gone whenever they were on expeditions.

"That is an order, Haymitch,"

Haymitch had paused, reading his Commander's thoughts.

"I trust your decision,"

And Haymitch did as he fled to the supply wagon. Plutarch always seemed like an easy going guy whenever they are outside of work. He was all smiles. He even questioned why such a man was named Captain. Haymitch hated him on sight, during his first day-the old days when he, his brother, Dario and his girl, Lily, were still alive, and with hidden agenda. Underneath all that seemingly carefree mirth, his eyes glinted intelligence, experience,

And sadness.

Yet he did not pick up on sadness until after the deaths of his brother, Darion and his girl, Lily. Even if Plutarch knew what they were going to do, even if Haymitch had nearly murdered him out of grief, the man still offered him a chance, offered his words of wisdom. And it was the first time his mask came off fully.

"Don't regret anything," he had said. "No matter what you choose, even if it's the best possible way, there's really no way of telling the future. You have to make a choice, and live out its consequences even if it isn't the way you intend it to happen,"

The past always replayed in his mind whenever he is at a crossroad of decisions.

 _You have to choose._

And he had chosen to trust his Commander. He could almost tell what he was thinking. Plutarch wanted him to refill his gas because he believes that whoever is controlling the female Titan is still alive. And Haymitch was going to need to be well-equipped.

He had shot his hooks to the nearest trees and flung himself forward.

And that's when he saw the green smoke.

"Shit," he spat. Green flare was his signal to his team to rendezvous with him. The smoke looked miles off. He tried to go as fast as he could.

Now he's desperately trying to find any sign of his company before the capturing of the female Titan. He seemed to be nearing the place where the flare was shot.

And there Haymitch saw dark hair and skin, Seeder, hanging next to a tree. Her hook still attached to the tree branch while her body limped upside down. Even if he zipped past her quite fast, he still saw the dark liquid dripping from the back of her head. Head trauma, he guessed. But he soldiered on, with both grief and hope clinging heavily to his chest.

Seeder was kind and not very talkative, unless she was chiding someone, usually Chaff. She and Chaff were from the same town and were childhood friends, way before Haymitch and Chaff were, so they were forced to be friends in a way. And her record of killing Titans was a phenomenal one, so she chose her. She also kept Chaff in line he mused. Well, she would've if she was still...

And then he caught a glint of bronze. There was Finnick, lying on the grass. Haymitch would've made a joke about him still being pretty in death, if he wasn't so disheartened to see the expression of fear plastered on his face when he died. Finnick seemed so full of himself at first; being handsome and charming. He was skilled, too. He killed almost more than he had in his first expedition. Girls went head over heels for him (Haymitch caught a few boys staring, too). He teased but he never stepped over the line-physically or emotionally. Haymitch thought Finnick was a better version of himself. It was a wonder why the boy looked up to him. But now, the boy wouldn't come trailing after him anymore.

Haymitch pressed onward. Barely a few minutes after finding Finnick, a dark skinned man lied face down in the rocky soil. He caught a glimpse of his stump, which got bitten off by a Titan on one of their expeditions, yet his skills became more superb than ever. After the Darion and Lily's death, Chaff was assigned to the squad he was with and was the first one to welcome him. "I know you tried to kill the captain and sabotaged all those years we trained our asses off for but hey, I'm willing to put it behind me. I'm Chaff," and that was the start of their weird friendship. Chaff was the one who had introduced him to the flask. They had Commander Woof of the Garrisons to get them their stock of booze. But it wasn't just the liquor in their veins that bonded them. Chaff was the person Haymitch trusted since he was the only one who was truly honest to him. He was the person he'd turned to for advice, though he'd never admit it. But he can't tell him that, not anymore.

His heart was now beating more wildly than ever. Aside from Katniss, only one member of his squad was left. Hope and fear churned within him. Hope is stronger than fear, they say in the Recon Corps. But after years in the legion, he learned that both go hand in hand. It kept him going, and going.

Haymitch almost outbalanced when he saw her neck thrown back farther than it should and her blonde hair streaked with red.

 _Effie_

He craved liquor now more than ever. But all he could do was dangle there and stare at her- that stubborn, insufferable woman who got on his nerves and vice versa.

She had barely noticed her when she first came to the Recon Corps about two years after he joined. She was quite the beauty. Golden curls spilling down, and a body that most men would drool over. But that was about as much as he saw her. Her skills were quite mundane, so he didn't pay her much mind.

It wasn't until she had seen her comrade die before her eyes that he had really noticed her.

He had recognized her angry grief, yet unlike him, she wasn't as fast with the 3D Maneuver Gear. He grabbed her from the Titan whose teeth snapped a few feet behind them. As Haymitch held her, he had felt her shake in both rage and sorrow. He rested her on the highest strong branch on a tree. He was about to break away but she grasped him tighter. And this little lady seemed to be a mirror of what he once felt. She muttered incoherently in his chest. The only words that stood out were ' _I was weak'_ and ' _I couldn't save him'_

By the time she calmed down, the slaughter was over, and they made their way back to headquarters.

"I'm Effie, by the way," she spoke at some point.

"Haymitch," and they were silent the rest of the way.

Effie had begun to follow him around and doing little tasks for him after that. She sat with him in lunch, quietly at first, then occasionally making remarks about his table manners. Later, he got so annoyed that he snapped back retorts. But Effie matched his wits. That's how all the bickering started.

By the next expedition, she was assigned in the same squad as him. He suspected this was her doing but all she said was, "Commander Plutarch thought you're the person I'm closest to in the Scouting Legion after…" She pursed her lips for a moment and smiled as if nothing happened. She was good at that, hiding her emotions.

"I'm going to make this expedition hell for you," she promised.

"Right back at you," he retorted and was about to walk away when she tugged at his jacket.

"We have two weeks before the next expedition. Teach me how to get better," He stared at her, his grey eyes lost into her determined blue ones. He only nodded in reply.

Every day, he monitored what she does and commented every now and then what she should do. She was indeed beautiful, and because of that Haymitch would ogle at her ass. Then, Effie would fly past him and kick his shoulder, muttering about impropriety. He would laugh at that. Sometimes, he moved her to certain positions and stances, which was the most intimate they've had at that point. She tensed a lot to his touch. That's when he truly wondered about this mysterious girl.

When the expedition came, she killed her first Titan. She shed tears when they collected the bodies of their dead, but she didn't break down anymore.

"You weren't weak that time, you know," he whispered when she was reduced to sniffles.

"Cinna," she started. "Cinna said he'll handle the Titan pursuing us. I was so scared and I knew he was better than me in using the gear. So I let him. I… I shouldn't have let him do that. We should've tried to escape it," Her eyes were dry but her face turned hard.

"Don't regret," he said, echoing Plutarch's words. "No matter how much you thought about your decisions, you'll never know what's going to happen," She simply nodded.

Years later, she had finally gotten into the group with Chaff, Seeder, and Beetee, their main Titan researcher. She was the chatterbox of the group and babbled on about this nonsense and that. She began to see what she was. Sure, they bickered a lot, she meddled with everything they do, and was superficial at times, but he saw how caring and compassionate she was. She was the one to welcome the new recruits and tried to reassure them. She would sometimes take the time to hold the hands of those new recruits who still had a breath left before they died.

Despite this though, she had a lot of nasty words said behind her back. Her pretty face was the look of a highborn of Wall Sina. She either got a look of lust or disgust from fellow soldiers. But no one dared made a move on her. They still continued their training and it was evident, which made Chaff joke that he was jealous about how Haymitch had less time to have a drink date with him. He also hanged out a lot with Haymitch who had a scary reputation to the Recon Corps. Still, it was bound to happen.

To his surprise, when he had found her in the situation, the guy was on his knees crutching at his crotch. He nearly laughed but when her blue eyes found his, he found fear beneath all the fury. They both let him off.

The man got his punishment in the expedition. He didn't even have a body to be taken back.

After that expedition, Effie had come into his room. He was drinking at that time and she snatched his flask. He took out his bottle and they drank together. Effie got little alcohol tolerance. Surprisingly, she was quieter drunk, but she was clingy. He didn't know what to feel about that so instead he snorted.

"You know, you're such a hypocrite, princess," He called her that due to the rumors of her being the Capitol princess. "Always telling me to drink when-"

She just smashed her lips into his. He was taken quite aback, but he eventually responded to the kiss. His mind was clouded with lust and he wanted to touch her in certain places that he wouldn't dare think of. And he wanted her to do the same to him.

As if reading his mind, she grabbed his jacket and pushed it off him. He did the same to hers. Then, they began fumbling around with their many, many belts that was part of their gear. After what seemed an eternity, they got it all off. When he touched the hem of her white cotton pants, he pushed himself away from her. She tried to wrap her arms around him but he turned away from her. She seemed to sober up a bit and she wrapped herself with her arms.

"I was taken from the Capitol when I was thirteen," she began. It took all his willpower not to say any of the snarky remarks in his mind. "I was sold in the outer sector of Sina to be a prostitute. I tried to refuse, but they whipped me, threatened worse things to me and gave me little food when I refused to practice and train. I was so scared that I eventually gave in," Her blue eyes had looked faded. "They trained me on theory since they didn't want me to be spoiled. When I began, I lost my maidenhood to a merchant stranger. I cried to sleep when I was sure no one was looking. That was my life for 3 years, until I escaped," Haymitch swallowed at how the light of the moon made her even look more haunted. "And I met Cinna. He was heading to Wall Maria to become a soldier. I had no choice but to go with him, even if I didn't trust him. It took a while but we became friends. We trained together. He helped me get better. I was nearly going to get cut off. When I graduated, Portia, his girlfriend," Confusingly, Haymitch felt himself sigh in relief hearing that part. "He wrote about me to her and asked to find my family. I met Portia and my father on that day. I cried so hard. My mother had died two years prior. But my past seemed to still haunt me. I joined the Recon Corps because I felt that I would never be found by those who sold me and kept me,"

She stopped. He knew the rest.

"I still write to Portia when I send a letter to my dad. Portia doesn't blame me, and I know she doesn't, but it still hurts. I really wanted to hurt and destroy that Titan, even though I know it wouldn't do anything to bring him back," she hung her head. "I asked you to train me because I don't wanna be scared anymore," and with that, she got up, took her stuff.

"I lived underneath you," This was the first time in a long time he spoke of his past. "I lived in the underground district of Sina. I was a thief there. I used to be an ordinary thief, until I stole a 3D Maneuver Gear from the Military Police. I trained myself. My brother wanted to help me, so did my girl," Effie winced at that. "I didn't want to but they insisted. We became a team. Years later, we were given a job to obtain a document of the Recon Corps kill Commander Plutarch who was still a Captain back then," Effie gasped. "We didn't really care about the feud between those against the expeditions and the Recon Corps. They helped our friend as an advanced payment, but if we got the job done, we get to live in the surface, permanently. It was an offer too good to refuse. So, we got ourselves intentionally captured by the Recon Corps so they'll let us join," Haymitch sucked his breath. He was going to need all the air he can get to tell the next parts. "I had a plan to kill Plutarch during the expedition. I didn't want them to come but they insisted. A fog came and I thought it was a perfect time. This time, I insisted that they not follow me. It was then that I saw all the dead bodies. I passed the Titan undetected," A shiver ran through Haymitch. "I turned back but it was too late. On both sides of me laid Darion's torso and Lily's severed head. I saw the aberrant that killed my family,"

Effie nodded in understanding, probably their first interaction flashing in her mind. She left the room and he just sat there contemplating on what had happened between them. The next day, they kept up their usual charade.

Haymitch was now captain, and dubbed by the people as "Humanity's Greatest Soldier". New recruits came in. It was the first time they had new recruits hanging around them- the cocky, handsome Finnick and Johanna, probably the only woman who loved to get on Effie's nerves. He looked at these people. Chaff, Seeder, Beetee, Finnick, Johanna, and Effie. They were an odd little group. He didn't know what to make of them.

A few years later, Wall Maria had fallen. He understood what was happening to him. These people were the 50-foot Colossal Titan and they had just destroyed the Walls he carefully built around himself.

Five years later, it had been the first time they had heard of a Titan shifter, a human who could turn into a Titan. Commander Plutarch wanted to use Katniss as a weapon. Beetee wanted to study her. Johanna was happy to kick her around on Haymitch's orders. He merely shrugged when the judge asked to stop beating up the poor girl when she opened her mouth.

"You wanted to dissect her, didn't you?" Johanna sneered. "Why couldn't I have fun with her before you slice her up?"

"Pain is a means of discipline," Haymitch spoke. "I would've done that myself but I don't hit girls. That's Mason's department,"

Plutarch proposed their plan to use her as a weapon to retake Wall Maria, and reluctantly, it was approved. Still, Katniss glared hard at Haymitch and Johanna. Effie mothered over the girl and chided Johanna at being too rough and Haymitch at being too harsh. "She would've died if they didn't do that," Chaff told her and she merely huffed.

All had seemed to go well for the rest of the time, until someone had attacked Sonny and Bean, Beetee's experimental Titans. They had the lowest number of recruits in the Recon Corps. Johanna became too sick to join the expedition. In a luckier streak, they had Katniss and most of the top 10 graduates in the Legion. But they still couldn't assure anything. He had hoped that Chaff, Seeder, Finnick and Effie would protect Katniss, and live while they're at it.

The night before the expedition, Effie had entered his room.

"You should be getting some sleep, soldier," he treated everyone as his subordinates when it's near the expedition.

"I can't sleep. I feel like this expedition is different," she muttered.

"Effie," he sighed and he heard his door lock. Haymitch turned around and saw Effie with her shirt over her head.

"Don't," he growled. "This is inappropriate soldier,"

She gave a hollow chuckle. All she had were her pants and the cloth around her chest. She stepped closer and straddled him. She gave a peck on his lips. "I know why you don't want to, but I'm okay with it. This is my body and I do what I want with it. Right now, all it wants is to be in contact with yours," It has been a long while since he had done this. Last time, he had done it with Lily. But now he could feel his pants tighten. One look from Effie and he had known that she knew this, too. He didn't fight back when she pulled him to his bed.

They clawed at all their clothing and it was as if their bodies were magnetized to each other. Effie was clearly better at this than he was but he also had surprises on his own. It was a tangled mess all in all.

When they reached their climax, they collapsed on the bed.

"I love you," Effie whispered.

He didn't say anything. He just kissed her forehead for a long time before hugging her.

He could feel the ghost warmth of her body of when they had snuggled each other that night. The only regret he felt was that he didn't say it back. Maybe he should've said it back. He shook his head and went on. He had to look for Katniss. She was the main mission. He can mourn for them later. If he's lucky, they can get their body back.

 **I wanted to try to do this AU for a long time but I finally was motivated (sort of) to finish it now. XD I tried to make it as accurate to both the anime and the THG characters, I would appreciate feedback and constructive criticism (but not hate guys... hate makes me sad : ) I was planning to do a shorter part 2 of this but I'm back to school. I also tried to do a drawing but I got really frustrated because I can't do different angles and body positions I cri.**

 **Oh and did any fans guess who's my AoT OTP? Rivetra/Levetra/LeviXPetra XD The title for this is actually from Levi's OVA episode about his past. So yeah, I guess that's it. I hope it wasn't too bad to read. THANK YOU FOR READING! 3**


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